Coming Home to the Enough Woman in Me
As an Enoughness Expert and transformative guide, my understanding of the ‘not good enough’ feelings and stories goes beyond theory; it’s woven into my own lived experience.
And I know what it truly takes to reclaim your enoughness, not by fixing or improving yourself, because you are already whole. But by remembering who you are and returning home to yourself.
My journey has prepared me to walk beside you as you come home to the enough woman within so you can step fully into your sovereignty and live from your deepest, most expressed self.
Below is my story in brief.
My Story: A Tale of Resilience, Inner Warriorism and Waking Up the Enough Woman in Me.
For my 5th birthday my mum told me we were going on a special trip to her sister’s, my aunt. I was excited.
We travelled from Lagos, Nigeria where we lived to my aunt’s in Warri, about 428 km and around 7 hours by car.
A few days after we arrived at my aunt’s, my mum told me she was going to the shop, but then never returned.
Where's my mum?
For days I cried, asking to see my mum. My aunt would tell me that my mum was on her way back. A lie she told to try and comfort or stop me from crying.
From the front door of my aunt’s house were stairs that led down to a short walkway and the walkway led to the street. Every day I sat at the bottom of the stairs or stood at the end of the walkway, looking down the street to see if I could see my mum returning.
She never returned.
I later learned she had left me with her sister to care for me.
My young life had taken a turn
That was the moment I went from being a carefree happy child to feeling fundamentally not good enough.
From there I lived briefly with my father in Port Harcourt, and after some difficulties, accidents and a near death involving my sister, we were sent to live with my father’s sister in Sagbama, a village in Bayelsa State, Nigeria. Then, when I couldn’t take it anymore, I ran away, aged 9.
I crossed the river to find her
With the help of a neighbouring market trader who happened to know my mum, I crossed the river. I told her that I wanted to cross the river, from Sagbama to Agoloma, Delta State Nigeria, in hope of finding my mother, and she agreed to take me across the river in her canoe.
And I found my mum.
This wasn't what I had in mind
After reconnecting with my mum in Lagos, Nigeria, I discovered that she had remarried. I was somewhat an inconvenience in her new life.
As a child I didn’t have the language or understanding for most of my experiences, but I was highly intuitive.
Looking back now I see the numerous times this kept me safe.
After a few months with my mum, now age 10, I asked if I could leave and go and live with her sister instead and she said yes. And off I went, with my little bag beside me, in a yellow taxi. No tears this time.
From that point on, I lived with relatives in Nigeria and then in London. At 18 I left ‘home’.
During this time, the treatment I received from caregivers reinforced the belief in my subconscious that I was inadequate, as they made it clear that I was considered ‘less than.’
I believed the stories
Additionally, societal conditioning and prejudices further impacted me, such as experiencing verbal and physical insults and discrimination for being black in London.
My response?
I behaved in ways to fit in and be accepted, to be loved and to belong.
I bought into the concept of not being ‘good enough’ and I lived in a state of limited consciousness, fuelled by feelings of not being ‘good enough’.
Fashion became a passion, then a business
By my 30s I’d learned how to survive.
I established and ran my own thriving bespoke dressmaking business, specialising in wedding dresses and evening gowns. This was my first solopreneurial success and even now I continue to receive messages of thanks from past clients on their wedding anniversaries.
But all was not well
Externally I appeared to be doing great, but internally I struggled with feelings of insecurity, self-doubt and fear, which prevented me from living my truest expression of self. I held back, never fully committing to my dreams.
I had created a great brand and people loved my work but I was afraid of being seen or of the business getting any bigger. Though people were always amazed at my creations, I never actually believed I was good enough. When praised, I thought ‘they must be wrong.’
I unconsciously downplayed my personal power. I had a fear of both success and failure, resulting in self-sabotaging behaviours.
I often sought external validation and said yes to everyone except for me.
Scarcity, struggle, stress, and fear were constant companions in this state of being.
Eventually my nervous system became exhausted.
I was diagnosed with autoimmune and other health conditions. And I was depressed and suffered from anxiety.
As I received diagnosis after diagnosis, I felt powerless over time.
Waking up the enough woman in me
Eventually I sought professional help.
Initially, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and wellness by exploring iridology and nutritional therapy.
This path eventually led me into therapy and various healing and transformative modalities, both traditional and holistic.
I later pursued formal education and obtained certification and accreditation as a nutritional therapist. My primary intention was to gain a deeper understanding of my body and tap into its innate wisdom.
Then, as my holistic approach expanded in my work as a nutritional therapist, I recognised the significant role of the mind in shaping our bodies and lives. This realisation prompted me to further my studies and become a certified and accredited cognitive behavioural therapist. Additionally, I incorporated the principles of Ayurveda into my practice, becoming a certified and accredited Ayurveda practitioner.
Disempowering conclusions
As a child, I concluded that my mother left me and didn’t want me because I wasn’t good enough and from there I created a belief that I wasn’t good enough.
And I unconsciously lived by that belief, which then influenced my reality as an adult. That belief caused me not to be myself, to give away my power, and to act small.
She who writes her narrative, rules her destiny.
The biggest breakthrough in my journey beyond ‘not good enough’ was realising that the power to change my life was in the narrative I chose to live by.
As women, we often unconsciously live within societal and cultural narratives that leave us feeling small, powerless, and never quite good enough.
I tried to change the stories that caused me to feel stuck and play small, but I never quite felt free. Then it became clear: my stories existed within the narratives that shaped them. It wasn’t just my story that needed to change. I needed a new narrative.
Today I live by a new narrative.
I live from my enoughness and my personal sovereignty.
My purpose
My work isn’t about fixing or improving yourself. You are complete. You are enough.
My purpose is simply to guide you to wake up the enough woman in you. Because when you live from your enough self, you naturally step into your fullest expression and navigate life through your personal sovereignty.
Yet for many women this journey of self-recognition and personal sovereignty is not just personal, it can be political.
For too long, societal cultural narratives have encouraged women to be small. The challenges women face are real and systemic, from gender pay disparities and limited leadership representation to workplace harassment.
These barriers run even deeper for women from marginalised groups, including Black women, women of colour, transgender women, and women with disabilities.
Each obstacle can reinforce disempowering narratives of “You’re not good enough,” “You don’t belong,” “You don’t deserve.” and so on.
But here’s the unchangeable truth: Your worth is inherent. It’s not up for debate.
A New Chapter Begins Here
Your journey back to yourself doesn’t have to be walked alone. If you’re ready to release the weight of ‘not enough’ and root into your enoughness, I’m here to walk alongside you.
Explore the pathways below, and let’s begin.
→ Free Manifesto Download
Begin your journey with The Enough Woman's Manifesto, a guide to embracing your inherent worth and sovereignty.
→ Narrative Review & Roadmap™ Session
Gain clarity in just 90 minutes. Uncover the beliefs holding you back and chart a new, intentional direction for your life and business.
→ Narrative Sovereignty™ Programme
Write the narrative of your soul. Begin reshaping the stories that no longer serve you and create a path aligned with your fullest expression.
→ Empress Mindset Formula®
Embrace your sovereignty with the Empress Mindset Formula®. Get ready for your throne, redefine your path, and lead your life with confidence, purpose, and grace.
A Brief Bio
Ebi Lewis guides women to recognise their inherent worth and transcend feelings ‘not enough’ to unapologetic living from their personal sovereignty.
With over 20 years of experience in mentoring and coaching, Ebi is an Enoughness Expert specialising in overcoming feelings of inadequacy. Her deep understanding of these struggles goes beyond theoretical knowledge because she has personally faced and triumphed over many of the same challenges. This perspective allows her to empathise with women and makes her uniquely placed to effectively guide them in changing their narratives and embracing their worth.
As an entrepreneur and a certified professional in various disciplines, Ebi’s expertise spans mindset coaching, life coaching, performance coaching, cognitive behavioural therapy, mentoring, nutritional therapy, and Ayurvedic therapy.
She believes that embracing our value as women is crucial for our souls, the world, and the young girls looking up to us.
Ebi is committed to giving back, including supporting an environmental initiative for ethnic minorities to access nature.
In her free time, Ebi enjoys long-distance running, practicing yoga, gardening, travelling, reading, and being immersed in long walks deep in nature or on a beach in cold weather.
Gently Shift Your Story
The Narrative Review & Roadmap™ session is a gentle but powerful first step toward dissolving old stories and realigning with your truest self. In just 90 minutes, we’ll uncover what’s been keeping you stuck, so you can move forward with clarity, ease, and confidence.
Your story is yours to shape. And I’d love to walk alongside you on your journey as you write the next chapter.
